If I haven’t processed the pain in my history, I will not have the tools to enter with empathy into the pain of others. Those in emotional pain will become a problem to fix, rather than a person to draw close to.  Growing in emotional literacy is a process. It takes time to walk through the losses we’ve experienced.  As we do, we become people who can offer the comfort of God, because we’ve felt it and know the power of it.

Shame hinders us from integrating with our emotions, which results in a breakdown of relational intimacy.  As we gain understanding and self-awareness, we can share that part of ourselves with others, creating connection. The more we experience comfort with our God-given emotions, the more we experience emotional security, which frees us to relational depth.

Our emotions are a gift from God, but we often enter our adult lives without a healthy way to respond to them.  They can overwhelm us, making us try to stuff them, deny them, or be out of control with them. We are made in God’s image and he is an emotional God.  By His grace, we can learn to submit our emotions to Him to have healthy intimacy with Him and others. 

Shame messages delivered through racism create deep harm.  They communicate unworthiness.  They rob hope. Through Jesus and His grace, healing can happen. When we know Jesus, our identity is in being one of His own.  It changes everything.  David Tso shares how coming to know what God thought of him began to lift his shame and freed him to return to his Navajo people with excitement for the future.  

Native Americans experienced institutional racism.  Not only did they experience prejudice from individuals, but institutions put in place by the government shamed them for their race. David Tso, from the Navajo tribe, shares his experience of shame in a government-planned boarding school.

 Prejudice in all its forms shames those it targets.  It sends a message of disdain and worthlessness. Its impact can tear down communities and nations.  The Gospel is needed to bring healing and restoration.  Jesus cares about the effect of prejudice on individuals and people groups. He died so that everyone could know their intrinsic value.  Because of His death on the cross, forgiveness and repentance can change hearts wounded by prejudice.  He is able to bring change where well-meaning politicians have failed. With God, all things are possible.

After many years of faithful service in his company, Larry, a successful businessman, was forced to retire.  With no clear explanation given for the decision, it left Larry confused, hurt, and feeling shame.  Larry walked through that season with God and others supporting him, so that he didn’t own the shame. He came out on the other side, ready to give his life away for the kingdom of God.

The workplace is where we can spend the majority of our days.  Though the purpose of our work is to get the job done, there are human elements that affect our experience, and even our productivity. People can be shamed by leaders or co-workers.  Successful businessman, Larry, shares his observations and insights through his long career. He believed that his work was important to God, and his life bears the fruit of that conviction.  

Shame shows up everywhere, including at work.  The shame can come from external or internal sources, and affects our ability to function at our best in our jobs.  As we recognize shame dynamics in the workplace, we can then make choices to respond with wisdom and growing health.

Marriage often requires what husbands and wives have no power to do, left to themselves.  Revealing hidden behaviors, forgiving, and choosing love over self-protection can only happen through God’s power at work within us. Taking Jesus by the hand and opening our hearts to let Him move through us changes everything.  

We can look to our spouses to find our worth, only to be disappointed with their inability to fully address our needs. We may feel devalued or unimportant. Historical struggles add to the shame we feel. As we look to God as our source, we begin to have a balanced perspective of our marriage, trusting what God says is true about us.  This begins to free us to enjoy our spouses for who they are.  

God’s design for marriage is oneness.  When old hurts, sin, and shame go unaddressed, it can rob a marriage of the beauty of the unity God designed for them to enjoy.  Learning to forgive, repent, and give grace can restore what evil set out to destroy.  

After a successful career as an athlete and a trainer to professional and elite athletes, Jim Rosania was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. Declining health and new limits on his capacity have not robbed him of hope. He continues to see God’s faithfulness and goodness, trusting that God still has significant work for him to do.

After a successful career as an athlete and a trainer to professional and elite athletes, Jim Rosania was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. Declining health and new limits on his capacity have not robbed him of hope. He continues to see God’s faithfulness and goodness, trusting that God still has significant work for him to do.

God can use the challenging circumstances of our lives to strengthen us and give us confidence in who He is and who we are in Him. Suffering doesn’t have to rob us of hope. It can give us a deeper experience of life and greater intimacy with God. Kelly Hall shares more of how being a mother of three profoundly deaf daughters became her gateway to life abundant in Christ.

Our version of impossible circumstances is not impossible with God. Nothing is too hard for Him. Nothing is impossible to Him. He meets us each day with strength and help to meet the challenges He allows in our lives. Author, teacher, and podcaster Kelly Hall shares how God met her through the journey of parenting three daughters who are profoundly deaf. His faithfulness carried her through.

When hardships seem unending, in our desire for relief, we can find ourselves blaming ourselves or others for the struggle. We often feel shame, believing it is somehow our fault that the trials persist. We can wonder where God is and if He cares, which only contributes to the shame we feel. Instead, God wants to minister to us in the heartache, giving us grace and strength to endure.

Shifting from a culture of hiding and pretending to one of authenticity is no small task. Yet living behind a mask keeps us from living as our real selves. Delphine Fanfon is my guest again this week. She shares her courageous journey to invite others to a life of vulnerability. There are challenges and rewards as she watches the Holy Spirit move in the lives of those she influences.

When poverty is added to the mix of a person’s experience, shame’s power seems great. Only God’s grace can overcome shame. Delphine Fanfon, who lives in the country of Cameroon in Africa, shares the harsh realities of the suffering of the people there. She tells of her own journey to come to trust Jesus and His grace, and now comes alongside adolescents to give them hope of what God can do.

The antidote for comparison and performance is God’s grace. Sue Tell, a veteran leader of the Navigators’ ministry shares how learning affirmation, identity in Christ, and trust began to free her from the patterns of the past. In living by God’s grace, her ministry expression deepened and she experienced greater intimacy with God.