Bringing a secret to light is a beginning step toward healing.  The Holy Spirit knows exactly what we need to grow and become fully free.  Patty Barry shares some of those steps that God led her through as she brought the secret of her abortion to light. God’s grace through friends, her husband, and spiritual leaders strengthened her and moved her toward the redemption and calling of her life.

An unplanned pregnancy led to a secret kept for many years.  The secret brought great shame.  Patty Barry shares her abortion story, telling about the effects of it at the time and in the decades after.  God’s grace began to break her free from the prison she created for herself.  She took her first steps of living in the light of His love

Keeping an unhealthy secret fuels our shame. It holds power over us. It defines us in our minds. It tells us that we are unworthy. Once we bring the secret to light before God and with safe and trustworthy people, the secret becomes part of our history and not what defines us.  We can learn the difference between privacy and secrecy, and live in healthy freedom from shame.  

The challenges of life can make us bitter, or they can mature us if we let God have His way in us.  They can also open the door to joy.  Mark and Sherri Tanner share how Mark’s stroke grew them in emotional intimacy as well as intimacy with God.  God’s strength in their weakness was proved over and over again.

  It is possible to move through life without shame, even after disability becomes a daily reality.  Mark and Sherri Tanner share about God’s faithfulness to them after Mark’s massive stroke.  The losses affected them and the stroke took spontaneity away, but they learned to lean on the promises of God to strengthen them for each day.  

Encountering the vulnerabilities in others can trigger shame in us.  When we’re not comfortable with our own weaknesses, we can avoid engaging with others in their vulnerabilities.  As we meet people with physical differences or disabilities, those with mental challenges, addictions, and experiencing homelessness, the encounter can bring up responses that reveal our own fears. By God’s grace, we can respond with humility and compassion, offering hope to a hurting world.

 If I haven’t processed the pain in my history, I will not have the tools to enter with empathy into the pain of others. Those in emotional pain will become a problem to fix, rather than a person to draw close to.  Growing in emotional literacy is a process. It takes time to walk through the losses we’ve experienced.  As we do, we become people who can offer the comfort of God, because we’ve felt it and know the power of it.

Shame hinders us from integrating with our emotions, which results in a breakdown of relational intimacy.  As we gain understanding and self-awareness, we can share that part of ourselves with others, creating connection. The more we experience comfort with our God-given emotions, the more we experience emotional security, which frees us to relational depth.

Our emotions are a gift from God, but we often enter our adult lives without a healthy way to respond to them.  They can overwhelm us, making us try to stuff them, deny them, or be out of control with them. We are made in God’s image and he is an emotional God.  By His grace, we can learn to submit our emotions to Him to have healthy intimacy with Him and others. 

Shame messages delivered through racism create deep harm.  They communicate unworthiness.  They rob hope. Through Jesus and His grace, healing can happen. When we know Jesus, our identity is in being one of His own.  It changes everything.  David Tso shares how coming to know what God thought of him began to lift his shame and freed him to return to his Navajo people with excitement for the future.  

Native Americans experienced institutional racism.  Not only did they experience prejudice from individuals, but institutions put in place by the government shamed them for their race. David Tso, from the Navajo tribe, shares his experience of shame in a government-planned boarding school.

 Prejudice in all its forms shames those it targets.  It sends a message of disdain and worthlessness. Its impact can tear down communities and nations.  The Gospel is needed to bring healing and restoration.  Jesus cares about the effect of prejudice on individuals and people groups. He died so that everyone could know their intrinsic value.  Because of His death on the cross, forgiveness and repentance can change hearts wounded by prejudice.  He is able to bring change where well-meaning politicians have failed. With God, all things are possible.

After many years of faithful service in his company, Larry, a successful businessman, was forced to retire.  With no clear explanation given for the decision, it left Larry confused, hurt, and feeling shame.  Larry walked through that season with God and others supporting him, so that he didn’t own the shame. He came out on the other side, ready to give his life away for the kingdom of God.

The workplace is where we can spend the majority of our days.  Though the purpose of our work is to get the job done, there are human elements that affect our experience, and even our productivity. People can be shamed by leaders or co-workers.  Successful businessman, Larry, shares his observations and insights through his long career. He believed that his work was important to God, and his life bears the fruit of that conviction.  

Shame shows up everywhere, including at work.  The shame can come from external or internal sources, and affects our ability to function at our best in our jobs.  As we recognize shame dynamics in the workplace, we can then make choices to respond with wisdom and growing health.

Marriage often requires what husbands and wives have no power to do, left to themselves.  Revealing hidden behaviors, forgiving, and choosing love over self-protection can only happen through God’s power at work within us. Taking Jesus by the hand and opening our hearts to let Him move through us changes everything.  

We can look to our spouses to find our worth, only to be disappointed with their inability to fully address our needs. We may feel devalued or unimportant. Historical struggles add to the shame we feel. As we look to God as our source, we begin to have a balanced perspective of our marriage, trusting what God says is true about us.  This begins to free us to enjoy our spouses for who they are.  

God’s design for marriage is oneness.  When old hurts, sin, and shame go unaddressed, it can rob a marriage of the beauty of the unity God designed for them to enjoy.  Learning to forgive, repent, and give grace can restore what evil set out to destroy.  

After a successful career as an athlete and a trainer to professional and elite athletes, Jim Rosania was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. Declining health and new limits on his capacity have not robbed him of hope. He continues to see God’s faithfulness and goodness, trusting that God still has significant work for him to do.

After a successful career as an athlete and a trainer to professional and elite athletes, Jim Rosania was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. Declining health and new limits on his capacity have not robbed him of hope. He continues to see God’s faithfulness and goodness, trusting that God still has significant work for him to do.