Happy Mother’s Day?
Different Experiences of Mother’s Day
Mother’s Day can be a wonderful day of celebrating the women in our lives who have beautifully but imperfectly loved and nurtured us. We remember their sacrifices and support, expressing our gratitude through words, meals, gifts, and affection.
Mother’s Day can also be an emotionally painful holiday for many. Some have lost their mothers or children to death and feel the emptiness of the hole left behind. Others would like to be mothers and are not. Infertility, not-by-choice singleness, and the unmet longings that go with them crush spirits. Then there are those in a time of estrangement from family members and reconciliation seems impossible. Still others have traumatic memories of mothers who were broken and unable or unwilling to love their children well. Life in this sinful world deeply affects us. Routine days can distract us from our losses, but the focus of the holiday once again brings them front and center.
If you are one of those fortunate ones who had a wonderful mother and a healthy relationship with family members, I rejoice with you! This is how God designed the family to function together. It is worthy of celebration when a family is strong and close.
If you are one of the others mentioned above, I weep with you! Your grief is real, even if others don’t recognize or validate it. The pain of unmet longings can break our hearts. Death and relational breakdown remind us that we are not equipped to deal with sin’s effects. We cannot absorb sin’s destruction.
God’s Comfort for the Relational Destruction of Sin
If you are looking for practical tips and tools on how to navigate the holiday in difficult family dynamics, see the link below* for my podcast episode that addresses this topic. But for this blog, I want to address the heartache of those touched by losses on Mother’s Day. God’s promised comfort is our hope. He knows the reality of what sin can do to us. Matthew 5:4 (ESV) says, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”
God’s Comfort in Bereavement
I am grateful for the story of Lazarus recorded in John 11. Lazarus died and Jesus knew he would raise Lazarus to life again. Yet when Jesus came to the tomb where Lazarus’s body lay, He wept. He joined the mourning chorus as one who felt their pain. He knows the excruciating heartbreak that the death of a loved one brings. If you grieve the death of a loved one this Mother’s Day, let the tears of Jesus–who understands the pain of bereavement–minister to your heart. He enters your pain and weeps with you like He did with the mourners before Lazarus’s tomb. He didn’t tell the mourners to stop crying because they would see Lazarus again. He cried with them. Such empathy comforts our hurting hearts.
God’s Comfort in Unmet Longings
When your soul longs to be a parent and you are not, it can feel like a burden too heavy to bear. Proverbs 13:12 tells us “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.” You may have felt this heartsickness. Where is God when our longings remain unmet? Psalm 34:18 says that “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” He is near. He doesn’t tell you to get over it. He instead promises to walk with you. He will never leave you or forsake you. Let His presence minister to your crushed spirit as He pours His healing balm over your wounded heart.
God’s Comfort in Relational Brokenness
Relational breakdown robs us of peace. We were designed for unity and togetherness. When there is unforgiveness, lack of repentance for wrongs, posturing, manipulation, withdrawal, or abuse, unity is impossible. Sin creates relational loss. Our desire for happy families where everyone is emotionally healthy and gets along is a valid desire. As with any desire, it is not something we can control. When relational brokenness is our experience, it is grievous. God longs for us to bring our disappointments and losses to Him so that He can minister to us in them. I Peter 5:7 (TLB) tells us to “Let him have all your worries and cares, for he is always thinking about you and watching everything that concerns you.” He has you in His hands, and has your family members in His hands. He has not forgotten you. He cannot forget you. You belong to Him. You are His own. He loves you.
Our God cares about the details of our lives. He is Jehovah-Shammah, God Who is There.
I Peter 5:7 (TLB) “Let him have all your worries and cares, for he is always thinking about you and watching everything that concerns you.”
*Navigating Tricky Relational Dynamics at the Holidays. You can listen to episode #19 here.
Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash