Say, “Thank you”
Common Courtesies
As parents, we desire that our children learn common courtesies. We teach them to pick up after themselves. We train them to complete tasks for which they are responsible. We remind them to flush the toilet and turn off the faucet when hands are washed. We show them how to introduce themselves to adults. We encourage them to have manners. Respect for themselves and others is important.
From an early age, when conflict arises and the child is at fault, we encourage them to say, “I’m sorry,” even when perhaps they are not yet remorseful. We do this because we want them to grow in awareness that they are responsible for how their actions affect people. A person who is aware of their effect on others will garner respect in relationships and at work.
We also train our children to say, “Thank you,” when a gift is given or they experience a gesture of kindness. We understand that they may not yet be thankful, but we want to help cultivate gratitude in them. A thankful heart is one that recognizes the good life brings. A grateful person is someone who can be content in their circumstances. We want the best for our children and know a lifestyle of courtesy toward others and a thankful heart will help them succeed.
Ongoing Practice
When we become adults, we can forget to practice these same courtesies. It can be difficult to admit wrong and own up to how we’ve affected others. Exposing our flaws is uncomfortable. And sometimes we don’t want to be grateful when life brings challenges. Instead, we may be resentful or envious of others who have the life we envisioned we’d have.
Choosing to make amends and choosing to be grateful takes practice. Left to ourselves, we’d be just like little children who say the words but don’t mean it. In time, my children learned honest remorse when they did wrong and true gratitude when they experienced the kindness of others. The same holds true for us. With God’s help, we can learn to have a humble and grateful heart.
Growing in Gratitude
I can’t imagine how exhausting it was to live with me before I grew in humility and gratitude. I was bitter, resentful, and envious of others. I focused on the wrongs others did instead of owning up to my mistakes. I was miserable and lacked joy.
When I asked God to heal the shame that fueled my envy and pride, I found that practicing gratitude changed my perspective. It grew me in awareness of the gifts God gave me each day because He cared about me. It helped me not take Jesus’s death on the cross for granted. It humbled my heart and freed me from shame. I became more willing to admit when I was wrong. It’s amazing what gratitude can create in us.
The Holy Spirit’s Enablement
I don’t have an earthly parent to stand over my shoulder with a reminder of, “Say,’ Thank you.’” But I do have the Holy Spirit to nudge me toward gratitude when I find myself feeling forgotten or dismissed. I can stop and ask for His help to change my thoughts toward His goodness and faithfulness. As I ponder on all that God has done for me and given me, my gratitude grows and my shame thoughts diminish. I am reminded of how He values me.
Training my daughters to say, “Thank you,” in the appropriate times happened all day everyday when they were small. How can I think my grateful heart will develop in any other way? It is the Holy Spirit’s work in me to give me opportunities to practice gratitude and grow in humility. He will be faithful to create it in me as I submit to Him. I am so grateful.
Psalm 77:12 (NASB) “I will meditate on all Your work, And on Your deeds with thanksgiving.”
Questions to Ponder: How does gratitude foster contentment? What are three things about God that come to mind as you meditate on His deeds?