Life Lessons from Wendell
Wendell’s Influence
A few months ago, my dear friend, Wendell Sheets, passed away just before his 93rd birthday. He invested in me as a leader and as a person for decades, as he did with countless others. Knowing him enriched my life.
Wendell’s career was in education. He taught high school physical education and coached cross country, track and field. He became a highly respected administrator, providing leadership in a number of local high schools. Wendell also served as an elder for many years in a large church in our city. He had a broad and deep influence.
Wendell’s impact on my life was significant. His friendship and care for me ministered deeply to my heart in ways I may never fully know in this life. When I went to visit him in his home in the years before his death, I told him in our chats how much I learned from him. He’d forget what I said so I’d tell him again. It was important to me that he knew.
Memorial Service Sharing
At his memorial service, I was honored to be asked to speak about Wendell. Here are a few of the life lessons I learned from him that I shared that day:
How to grow old with grace. The way you age well is to truly believe that God’s value in you is enough. Wendell was one of the most influential people I have known in my life, and at the end, he was surrounded by only a few. When you have developed a deep intimacy with God and are fully confident in His care and value of you, living in obscurity is not something to resent or fear because you know that God is enough. There is freedom in this that allows you to receive each new limitation as it comes.
Practice gratitude. No matter the hardship, including the death of his son and first wife, and in time his aging body, Wendell found ways to be grateful to God. In focusing on God’s character and good gifts, He was able to survive his great losses without despair.
Speak highly about the people you love behind their backs. I can’t tell you how often I heard about each of his family members, always with sincere pride and joy. He was so proud of them.
Practice forgiveness. Wendell lived a long time and experienced many betrayals. Because he chose to forgive, he could finish his days without bitterness. He could remember each person who sinned against him and celebrate their strengths because forgiveness freed him from seeing them through their faults.
Give your life away with abandon. Jesus said that the greatest among you is the servant of all. Wendell’s influence never had Wendell as the center. The focus was always on the ones he served. He used his strengths to bless and honor others. This service brought him great joy and gave God glory.
Let God have His way in you when you are young. You and your loved ones will receive the fruit of it when you are old. A young person who is all about himself can become an old person who is all about himself. Whatever you don’t allow God to transform in you will become magnified and unpleasant to yourself and others as you age. Because Wendell let God have His way in him, he looked a lot like Jesus.
Rest in the promises and character of God. When you have experienced big losses and heartaches in your life, you have two choices. You can push back against God or you can surrender to His sovereign will. Wendell chose the latter. He opened his hands and said, “Not my will but yours be done, God.” This practiced surrender freed him to be able to receive the loss of no longer being able to drive, to ride his bike, to hear well, to see well, to read, or to be around a lot of people–all things that previously gave him life. In the end he could only do a few things: simple jigsaw puzzles, chatting with friends, praying, and eating his wife’s good cooking. He lived in contentment because He knew the joy of surrendering and even abandoning himself to His Savior.
Let trusted others into your vulnerabilities. Wendell didn’t live with regrets. He trusted his mistakes to God and made amends where needed. But he was human, and experienced vulnerabilities like the rest of us.
Vulnerability
In my second to last visit with him, Wendell felt the reality of his failing body. It didn’t frighten him, but he was aware of it. When it was time for me to leave, he stood up to hug me goodbye. Before he did, he looked gingerly away from me and said, “Louise, don’t forget the old people.”
I gently responded by saying, “I’m here, Wendell. I won’t forget you.” He teared up and hugged me as I left.
Unforgettable
How could I forget this man who loved and honored me like he did? How could I forget this man who finished well like few I’ve known? How could I forget this giant of the faith who was trusted by so many because of how he lived his life? How could I forget this man who honored others without any desire for personal glory?
I will never forget you, Wendell. Thank you for going before us to show it is possible to honor God and others to the end. What a privilege to have been your friend.
Psalm 116:15 “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.”
Photo by Lute on Unsplash
Questions to Ponder: Who has spiritually influenced your life? What did you learn from them?